Black and Beautiful!

Ayotoluwafunmi
Feb 26, 2019
4 min read

Let’s be real here. Being a black person can be hard. Being a black woman is harder. Beauty standards are certainly moving and changing but what’s being done isn’t nearly enough.

I think we all hear “beauty is in the eye of the beholder”, so why, do some people think that the skin they have and see isn't beautiful?

Everyone is beautiful. No matter your shape, size, or colour. My belief is that dark skinned black women are the most beautiful women on the planet. I am allowed to be biased 🤷🏾‍♀️.

From the West Indies to Brazil to India and even in Africa…the brighter the better! And whats worse, the racism emphasizes the classism. You’re dark, you must be poor…you’re light…you must be elite…its really sad - Normani Kordei

I support people who bring out the beauty in others, I hate when people bring down others because they have a different skin color. What’s most disgusting, to me, is people of the same color bringing down other people of the same color. We face problems from other races, why are we creating problems amongst ourselves? Do not bring people down because you may lack confidence in who you are.

When I was 12 years old, I decided to start bleaching. I was schooling in Nigeria at the time; meaning, I was surrounded by other black people. A few of them had chosen to make fun of me because I was arguably the darkest girl in my grade🙃.

Some wouldn’t call me by my name. I had substitute names.

“Black!”

“Dark Knight!”

Someone once said to me, “why are you so black? Once its 6 p.m. you probably disappear,

right?

Funny.

During an eighth grade PE class, the last class of the day, I was playing soccer. On and off the soccer field, I was known as an aggressive person. I liked being an aggressive person. Crying or looking sad were signs of weakness. I wouldn’t ever let anyone see me become emotional. That day, one person felt it was his job to consistently remind me how dark I was. He said every insult you could imagine saying to a dark-skinned person. I held myself together until the bell rang to let us out of school. Once my mum’s car arrived, I got into the passenger’s seat and covered my head with my school blazer. I silently cried all the way home.

I believe it was the week after that I bought bleaching cream. I don’t really remember when I started using the cream, but I do remember that a few days after using it a friend of mine noticed.

I am not sure how she noticed. I don’t think you can see the changes that early on. She said to me, very clearly, after grabbing my face, “you’re bleaching”. I neither confirmed nor denied but my silence seemed to be answer enough for her.

She said she would tell my mum if I continued to bleach. Thanks Tomi 😘.

I stopped using the cream, but it wasn’t my last attempt at bleaching. When I was 15, I googled natural bleachers and saw fruits like lemons and limes. When my mum bought a bunch of limes, I took a few, cut them up and squeezed the fruit on my face and neck. My skin felt like it was on fire, I was itching for a few hours after cleansing. I stopped doing this after 3 days. It wasn’t my brightest moment.

What’s funny is that, people can’t be pleased. Trying to please someone can be very exhausting. If I had continued bleaching I would have been made fun of. If I didn’t bleach, I would still be made fun of. So why exhaust myself, when I’m playing a losing game. Why bother?

Thank you, next.

I know I hated being dark skin while I was growing up. I had always associated beauty with being white or fair skinned. I thought the lighter I got, the more beautiful I was.

What’s wrong with being so dark? Dark skin is beautiful 😭.

I think the very first time I started loving my skin was a few years ago. I saw Alicia Keys on tv shows like The Voice wearing little to no make-up. I was impressed by how a celebrity chose to wear little to no make-up.

Alicia was telling me I don’t need to conform to the status quo’s beauty standard. My faith was also a huge reason for my increased self-confidence. I am made in the image of God. God made me look like him.

If you want to call me ugly, just understand that you may just be calling God ugly 😌🙃. You’re on your own.

Dark skin women all around the world, of every age, culture and belief. Stop caring what society or others deem beautiful. You can’t gain happiness from that. If you can’t gain any happiness from whatever you are doing. Stop doing it. You are a QUEEN.